The Labor of Brilliant Ideas

The climax of the egg is the hatching.

The fiercest battles I have ever faced are the ones right at the threshold of breakthroughs.  It's the labor pains right before the birth. There is no turning back at this point.  Grace is the ability to do what God has called you to do.  That brilliant idea was His first, He will give you the ability to see it through.  If there was no battle then there would be no need for grace. Grace doesn't mean no effort on  your part, it means He backs up your effort with His power.

Brilliant ideas are open doors

God will open some doors for you.  He will give you brilliant ideas to commit to.  He will give you some marching orders to carry out.  These open doors are opportunities.  They will above all teach you all kinds of lessons. Always look at them as opportunities of growth. Sometimes we will experience growing pains when we go through those doors.

Adversity keeps the boat afloat

But because they come from Heaven doesn’t mean they will be pain free, battle free, or even misery free.  In fact, because they come from Heaven is a guarantee there will be some adversity.  It’s the adversity that keeps the plane in the air, and the boat afloat.

It never fails the minute I mention evangilism or outreach it seems like all hell breaks loose. The very instance the women even start considering a prayer group all kinds of havoc begins to play on everyone’s schedule.  It’s a gimme.

Keep your cool

Just because I know it’s going to happen doesn’t mean I’m not going to do it.  It means I need His grace more than ever.  I get a lot of phone calls from women’s ministry leaders right before a big event with all the “can you believe this happened and then this happened and then of all things bubba broke his foot.”  It’s calm down time.

Here are some things to keep you level headed during this battle.

Pray.  Im not talking about going to God and asking if you should have even done the event in the first place, or if you should have even went into ministry.  It’s all too late for that.  You are on the cusp of breakthrough, you are on the verge of cresting the top of the mountain, you have done all the leg work, now is the prayers of faith. This is praising and worshiping time. If you are going to petition Him about anything now ask Him to help you keep your integrity in all of it, that your response to the battle will be God glorifying and people redeeming.

Stand on God’s word.  He gave you the idea, don’t move on it.  Don’t let anything cause you to doubt it was not from God. Keep your feet in peace. Strive to keep the strife out. That "peace that surpasses all understanding" will but a wall around you and will guard your integrity.  When you are in the home stretch you have done all that you have known to do, now stand. Don’t back down from what God has given you.  The enemy will try to get you to sabatage the whole thing by doubting you heard from God. It’s too late to worry about that now anyway.  Don’t entertain any negative talk from you are anyone else.

Speak over it.  When all hell is breaking loose right before an event watch what you say.  It is easy to start letting the words of worry and defeat escape our already tired self.  Everytime you hear someone speak negatively you reinforce what God has said, His promises to never leave us, never forsake us.  It’s all about Him anyway.  Speak life over the ministry, the event, the situation.

Related Post:Your Faith on Center Stage
Leading in the Trenches

Reminder!! We are moving to Wordpress completely in two weeks. So go there and change your subscription.  There is also a newsletter subscription you will want to check out (specials coming up soon).  sandivand.wordpress.com
Q4U: Got anymore suggestions for those breakthrough battles?

Territorial in Church

Gangs mark territories with graffiti

Have you ever met someone that gets territorial in Ministry? Ay-gee-mama! I see this quite often, because I don’t deal with just one local church I deal with a whole bunch of them. 

Some churches are afraid of their members going to an event at another church. Most of the pastors I work with don’t have a fear of losing people.  They just want to protect their flock from misquided overzealous evangelist. 

I get that. I am very protective of those God has sent me to serve, love and guide.  However, I'm also confident in the choices they make. If I am doing my part right they will make amazing choices. 

Fear of losing people

There is an inclination to fear people will go some place else. But here is the bottom line, in Florida there are 9 million women.  That’s enough to go around.  For some of us, just one of those 9 million could be a full time job. If you loose a person from your ministry, for whatever reason, there are plenty desperately in need of a touch from God.  


Just ask Special Gathering, a ministry within the mentally challenged community. This an unreached people group that has often been ignored by the church. It is so unreached that the fear isn't losing them - it's not reaching them at all.  I like that, isn't that the way ministry is suppose to be?  There are plenty of disabled people yet not enough laborers. (If interested in this ministry contact Linda Howard of Special Gathering, here is a link to her blog. This is one ministry that has plenty for everyone)


Here's some food for thought:

If we absolutely have to get territorial over people why not the human slave problem? 

Does your events include other churches? How do you deal with that territorial fear? 

How do you deal with other ministries inviting your ladies to events all the time? When is it too much?   

Have you done a community outreach with other churches?

How did that fare?

This is a real concern in church leadership, probably going to be another post. It is a discussion we all should be involved in. 

Q4U: What's your thoughts on this issue?

Unexpressed Approval

Proverbs 27:5 

A spoken reprimand is better than approval that’s never expressed.

Who likes to get reprimanded publically?  I mean really, who likes to get rebuked, corrected even slightly adjusted privately?  It’s not one of my favorite moments in life.  

We are to welcome correction, and thank God we get them from some wise people.  Who likes to get corrected by a fool? There is great wisdom in being correctable and plyable.  

A follower always getting corrected, no matter how much is needed and no matter how much we welcome it, after a while it can be discouraging. We start hesitating when opportunities arise.   As leaders let’s recognize that we can over play the adjusting and correcting hand. Approval never given is worse than a public reprimand. 

Unexpressed Approval

One of the best coaches I had always told us how good we were. She always told us  “we were a hard team to beat”, “we had what it takes to go all the way” and  my personal favorite “your great fielders, so keep your gloves up.” 

We didn’t get prideful. In fact, our first year with her was our best year in 12 years, our record 2-12.  That’s right we won 2 and lost 12 yet, to her we were always the best team on the field.

We didn’t need any reminders of how bad we were on the field, the scoreboard, the smirking looks from the other teams was enough. What we needed was reminders that we had some skills that could work to our advantage. The 3 years I was with her we did win and we won a lot! 

God Practices what He Preaches

I believe God would never tell us to do something He doesn’t practice Himself. God does approve us. His approval is so effective it is silly not to seek it. It is a great benefit to cultivate a life that pursues His approval. 

Holy Spirit conviction isn’t limited to just sins.  He convicts us of our righteousness as well.  He isn’t just pointing fingers at what is wrong, He is constantly pointing out what’s right.  Maybe our sin is we don’t believe Him. It’s okay to say “I am righteous!”  (maybe we could have a ministry called Righteous Babes).  

I know, some of you are saying “Sandy, let’s be humble now.”   I get that. Yes, let’s be humble.  It’s not right to stand up on your desk and say “I did that! and THAT was very COOL!”  Even though every bone in your body wants to (who you kidding, we all want to).  You know what is better than that is your leader jumping up on the desk pointing her finger at you and saying “She did that! and THAT is very COOL!”  

Q4U:  Got any suggestions on ways to express approval?  How about you, ever been approved by your leader? or not approved? How did you get through it?

Master the art of a sit down

A sit down is just another way of saying a meeting.  A sit down is probably the best way to get some issues out on the table and get them resolved.  Some teams have way too many sit downs and some don’t have enough.  

Here are some tips to a sit down.  

Whatcha talking bout?

If you going to call a sit down, you better know what your calling it for.  What are the clear issues.  Not what you think are the issues, and definitely not what someone who’s not even going to be there thinks the issues are. 

Get a clear picture of what’s going on before the sit down.  You might find there is no issue at all, some trouble maker (they normally do this more than once) is making mountains out of mole hills. Make sure everyone knows what the meeting is about before the meeting. 


No ganging up
Nothing is going to get resolved if you plan to gang up on one person either.  It's just not scriptural. Invite only individuals involved. Stay away from sit downs that just want to accuse and point fingers. You know let's blame Sister Sassy for everything. Let's recognize it's not what people can do, can't do, have done, won't do, will do  - its about what God can do with people, to people and through people.  Correction without the Cross is condemnation and it's the worse kind of sit down. 

Quit Stalling

Get to it quick, no stalling at a sit down. With a little humilty you might look across the table and realize their time is way more valuable than yours.   A sit down is about finding the solution, nothing more.  No need to chase down every rabbit in the church. Start out with prayer, Lord knows a lot of sit downs could be avoided entirely just by praying over the issue first. 

Speak when you have to not when you want to

“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Solomon

The words you say don’t make you smart.  Whenever I’m going in feeling intimidated and outgunned, I keep my mouth tight and my ears open.  In resolving conflict I find that more conflict can be avoided by putting a filter on the mouth.  No need to have another sit down about the last sit down. 

Be respectful

Disrespect of any kind is out of the question.  I don’t care how bad you are treated, what names you are called and how many fingers are pointing at you.  Disrespect is off the table.  The moment a hint of disrespect is out you are done!  Let me say that another way, you are much harder to defend when you are disrespectful. 

 I have a little acronym that helps me even decide if I do a sit down or not. It also prepares me for the sit down. It’s N.E.E.D.

Is it Necessary?

Is it Edifying?

Is it Encouraging?

Is it Dignified?

If I can’t get legitimate answers to those questions then the sit down is out of the question. 

Q4U:  What other tips do you have for sit downs?

The Mouth Trap

"A fool’s lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating." Solomon

When we are negotiating we gotta know when to keep our trap shut. Cuz the only thing we are trapping is ourselves. 

My dad was one of the best business men I knew.  He could negotiate for hours and get exactly what he wanted.  One of his best techniques was not saying a word. He knew how to keep it shut.  

He had a saying “The last person to speak loses the deal.”  One time while buying a car he didn’t say anything for two hours.  We got the car and it was a great deal.

In Women’s Ministry we need to know how to negotiate. 

Put the Ego in Park

Nothing can take you out quicker than your own mouth engaged with pride.  Once the cat’s out of the bag, there is no putting it back.  Pride loves to talk. A big mouth showing off is a recipe for disaster.  Pride will loose a deal. Why? Because pride tells the salesman how much they got and false humility (pride too) tells how much they don’t got. Pride is not smart, use your brain when dealing with others. 

Lock Down Jabber Jaws

One of the greatest achievements the Bible prescibes is to bridle your tongue.  Speaking before your thinking gets you sinking.  Your words can be your greatest self destruct button.  Know when to keep it tight and let your brain collect the info you need.  Part of being a great conversationalist is being a great listener.  

Put Your Ears on Alert

Become a good listener, that’s why you got two ears and one mouth.  Listening conditions you to gather information before acting or making a decision that will make an impact. You will be much sharper when you are nourished with the right information and honed into a fine point through experience.  Listening helps you discern better.  

Look before you leap, learn before you speak and never put your mouth before your brain. 

Q4U:  Do you have a negotiating tip?

Solomon: The Original Wise Guy

Proverbs is an amazing book.  Who doesn’t need wisdom?  Even if your the wisest person on the planet your not wiser than God.  Even Solomon’s own mission statement was all about getting wiser. Solomon practiced what he preached. 

The purpose of these proverbs is to teach people wisdom and discipline; to help them understand wise sayings. Through these proverbs, people will receive instruction in discipline, good conduct, and doing what is right, just and fair. These proverbs will make the simpleminded clever. They will give knowledge and purpose to young people. Proverbs 1:2-4

The Good Life

No matter if your a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a homeschooling mom, getting wisdom and exercising it is a strategy that can’t be missed. There is a need to understand market trends on Wall Street as well as the produce isle in Winn Dixie.  When we wait for wisdom we make better choices.  LIke a choice cut of meat, our choices will determine a life of rich living.  Maybe not material wealth  but a life of what's just, fair and right.  It’s not a life that looks good but a life that is good.  

No Such Luck

Contrary to popular belief, the word “lucky” isn’t in the Bible.  There is no fall of the dice in Vegas God doesn’t know about.  Prudent leaders don't “gamble”  and hope for Lady Luck to show up. Jesus never told the disciples “good luck” when he sent them out.  Why? Because luck has nothing to do with it.                   

There is no such luck in the Bible only blessings. Jesus starts out with “Blessed is the guy...”  not “lucky is the guy.”  You see if luck had anything to do with it God wouldn’t get any glory. Worse, Satan could then convince you that you just aren’t lucky enough.  What a bunch of pooo, luck has nothing to do with it. 

Secret Ingredient

Thre is no secret ingredient to success.  There is no magic word or secret potion to guarantee a problem free life or a successful business venture.  There is no secret or magic word that opens a ton doors.  There are a ton, probably 10 tons of self help books and blogs out there - all to help you succeed.  All with 20 steps to guranteed success in money, relationships, even parenting.  Yet with all these books out there our country is on the verge of default on a debt.  I guess some business people and politicians aren’t up on their reading list.

  

There are ingredients to success, and guess what? They're not a secret.

Q4U: What are the ingredients to success?  

10 ways to get your ladies to Fall Breakaway part 2 Guest Wendy Hargrove

by Wendy Hargrove
check out part 1 here


It's not to late to get a road trip together.  In fact, now is a great time to get it planned (you know let husband know, get a baby sitter, put a few bucks away).

6 - Make it sound inviting and welcoming

Fall Breakaway is not the place for cliques and small personal groups. If women feel that they will be the third wheel or not fit in, then they will not even consider attending this event. Make sure all ladies are made to feel welcome, loved and accepted, not just for Fall Breakaway, but also throughout the year. Do your best to be inclusive of ALL women, regardless of personality types and differences.

7 - Offer a layaway plan

Start six months prior to the event and begin offering layaway options for women. Allow them to pay a small monthly amount, so that when registration rolls around, they’re all paid up and ready to go. Most women have good intentions of doing this for themselves, but fail to follow through. If you take the initiative, and set this program in place, women will respond positively and enthusiastically. Most would jump at the idea of setting aside $15 a month for six months, knowing that they will get a three day getaway in the end.

8 - Set up a booth

As part of your in-house advertisement, consider setting up a table or booth in the church lobby. (With your Pastor’s permission, of course) Decorate the booth with pictures from previous years, items purchased at the event, and excited, enthusiastic women working the booth. Hands-on, in your face, advertisement may be the very thing that certain ladies need to sway their decision to attend.

9 - Offer incentives

Consider offering prizes or bonuses for attending the event. As an example, for every paid registration, give out a small gift, such as a journal, which could be used to record their experience at Fall Breakaway. Or maybe you could put every registered name in a hat and do a drawing for one or two big prizes. If funds permit, consider knocking off $10-20 for the first five people to register. Think outside the box and consider what would draw you to attend the event and pass that on to the other women.

10 - Dispel fears

Many women, who have never attended an overnight church event with other unfamiliar women, have built up anxieties and fears that keep them from attending. Try to dispel as many of those fears as possible. Consider having a pre-Fall Breakaway party, where women can become familiar with each other ahead of time, room arrangements can be organized and medical and personal issues can be discussed and worked through.

Fall Breakaway is a powerful, transforming event that every women needs to experience. As Women’s Ministry leaders, you should make every effort to include as many women as you can to experience this year’s event……their spiritual life may be depending on it!

Q4U: What other ways to get a group of ladies to an event as big as Fall Breakaway?

Joy for your leader

I played softball. I wasn't the best on the team. However,  I had a couple of skills that secured a spot in the lineup.  I could hit the ball where ever the coach told me to, consistently. Right field, left field it didn't matter, that ball was going exactly where the coach wanted it to.  I was fast in the outfield and could throw from fence to pitcher.  Just because I had this knack doesn't mean I brought joy to my coach all the time. You should have seen one coach after missing three practices in a row and then the game, it wasn't pretty. 


The Word gives very specific strategies for dealing with our leaders and our coaches.

Hebrews 13:7 Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow.  That certainly can’t be to your benefit.

God gave us gifts - people

The people God has placed in your life to help you walk out your soul purposes were put there for a reason.  They are there for your benefit.  We could even consider them as a gift from God.  

God gave those gifts, those leaders/coaches instructions.  One of those instructions was - if we don’t receive them with peace, then they are to move on. They are told to shake the dust off their feet.  As a leader we need to recognize when people are moving on and shaking our dust off, but that's a different post. 

Moving on without you

The last thing you want is the people God sent to you, to benefit you, to coach you (particularly your leader) is for them to move on without you.  Maybe one of the reasons, you are where you are and haven’t experienced any progress in your ministry is because the leaders God has placed in your life has moved on without you, or benched you.

Reason to lead you with joy

We all love leaders that share the same vision and strategies we do.  We love leaders that are compatable with our temperments. We love leaders that we click with, they are easy to serve and bringing them joy isn’t a big deal, probably because they like us too.

But what do we do when we don’t click with our leaders? How do we handle conflict with our leaders? Is there a strategy for bringing them joy instead of grief? 

1- Be upfront with them first and privately. Before you go to anyone else talk to your leader about being conflicted. The last thing you want to do is discuss with everyone else the problem with your leader.   The last thing you want to do is hang on to all the ill will and then spread it to the rest of the team. The last thing you want to do is publicly correct your leader. Why? Take a wild guess who God is going to side with? When you go to others first you have put your leader and worse, God, on trial. You have questioned God's pick for that position.  God will defend His choice in leaders. 

2- Plant seeds of peace and harvest crops of love.  Be the kind of team member you would want if you were in charge.  There are a lot of people wondering why they haven’t been promoted.  This is because they haven’t planted the seeds necessary to lead.  It’s amazing how many times Satan gets you off track with a simple thought “Well, if I was in charge I would....” 

3 - Do the best you can,with all your might and attitude.  When you agree to a task, do the best you can. Become the kind of team member your leader can count on. That might mean being flexible and allowing the leader to change directions. A great leader is empowering for sure, but sometimes we might have to take a back seat for a while, be okay with that. That's all part of doing your best and maintaining a good attitude about it. 

4 - Welcome correction. To think a leader will never have to correct you is delusional. What about you as a leader? Do you like to correct people? Most leaders don't. Some have had such bad experiences with it they actually dread doing it and even worse avoid it. Yet, correction is part of their job description as a leader.  When you get around someone that makes correction easy it brings joy (to you and them) Let me put it in another way.  I know leading me isn't easy because of my tendency to jump from here to there, reigning me in is a huge job. When I need correction, and believe me I need it, it's good for it to come from the leader that enjoys leading me. It's easier for them, and easy for me. When I welcome it, receive it and even thank the leader for even noticing it, not only is it cultivating a humble spirit in me, it's bringing joy to the leader.  

5 - Be loyal.  Loyalty doesn’t mean you will always agree. In fact, loyalty is really tested when you and your leader disagrees. Loyalty means you are willfully submitted.  Sometimes we will submit to others, however our hearts are far from submitted.  I’m not saying being loyal to something that is criminal, sinful and just down right wrong.  But before you take off pointing fingers and harboring an offense take it up with God first.

5 - Quit.   Sometimes you just need to quit. If following a leader is causing you to severely stumble then you need to quit. If you can’t get past the differences with your leader then don’t be a coward talking behind their back, resign. Quitting just might bring joy to the leader - just saying.

Q4U: What other ways can we give our leaders cause to joy?

Closed hearts

Closed hearts

"Gaurd your heart because it is the well spring of your life"

Guarding your heart and closing your heart is two different things.  Some people seem to think guarding your heart means protecting yourself from getting hurt.  Well the only way you can protect yourserlf from getting hurt is a coffin.  If your walking and breathing guess what? You will get hurt.  If you are in ministry guess what? You will get hurt.  There is no way out of it. Loving people will get you hurt. When we start guarding our hurts we can run the risk of closing our hearts to the people that matter the most. 

 The most valuable asset you have is your heart, it will bring life to your marriage, your family and to the ministry. Your heart when filled with God of potential and possibilities will produce people with potential and possibilities.  Closing it down for business is bad for business. 

Here are some signs of a closed heart.

1- They are distant and aloof.  A wall is up, they have fenced everyone out.  Getting in will take time, and a whole lot of mercy and patience.

2- There is no connections. No real connections to people. They are alone and prefer to be alone. It's safer.

3 - There is no real communications.  After a while communication skills shut down.  You will find them without a voice and struggling to find it. 

4 - They start fending for themselves, becoming self sustaining which reeks of pride. Unwilling to ask for help.

5 -  They become critical. The focus quickly switches to what is wrong instead of what is right. 

6 - They become demanding, demanding obedience, demanding submission, demanding perfection.

7 - Their oppression will be felt by everyone. People around them will feel oppressed. A good way to describe oppression is nothing getting in and nothing getting out.  






Q4U: Have any suggestions on how to deal with a leader with a closed heart? Leave a comment.

Take It On the Run

"I heard it from a friend

who-ooo 
heard it from a friend 

who-ooo 
heard it from another 

you’ve been messing around"

This poor guy!  Well at least the guy was willing to hear her side of the story. I know some who totally take gossip for real! How sad.

It’s amazing we even have to deal with this. But we do.  

Ministry can have the grandest vision and the best strategy but with gossip, good luck getting it off the ground and if you did will it be any fun at all?

Gossip is toxic.

You see it’s like this. Relationships are the air you breathe in ministry.  Mutual trust is the glue that holds it all together.  Anything that violates that trust well, it’s toxic vapor, it is the catalyst for rust.  Gossip and rumors destroy the trust.  It rusts the trust. 

Take it on the run.

We all know gossip destroys, I really don’t have to tell you. And really the only thing that stops rust is prevention.  We can moan and groan all day about gossip but that's not healthy and in some cases leads to more gossip (see it's rust). Let's come up with ways to stop it from slowing us down and keeping us from the grand destiny God has for us. Let’s take it on the run.  Let’s deal with it and keep going.  Let’s move on and not let this bring us down, individually and corporately. 

Can I quote you on that?

I heard a good way to protect a ministry from gossip.  Sharon Lussiere, the women’s ministry leader for Riverside Church, Sebastian hands out notebooks, for the ladies to carry in their purse.  Whenever someone starts up with questionable topics they can pull out their notebooks and say “Can I quote you on that?” Ha! That’s a good one. And that’s taking it on the run!

What are some of the ways to stop the gossip in your ministry?