Closed hearts
"Gaurd your heart because it is the well spring of your life"
Guarding your heart and closing your heart is two different things. Some people seem to think guarding your heart means protecting yourself from getting hurt. Well the only way you can protect yourserlf from getting hurt is a coffin. If your walking and breathing guess what? You will get hurt. If you are in ministry guess what? You will get hurt. There is no way out of it. Loving people will get you hurt. When we start guarding our hurts we can run the risk of closing our hearts to the people that matter the most. The most valuable asset you have is your heart, it will bring life to your marriage, your family and to the ministry. Your heart when filled with God of potential and possibilities will produce people with potential and possibilities. Closing it down for business is bad for business.
Here are some signs of a closed heart.
1- They are distant and aloof. A wall is up, they have fenced everyone out. Getting in will take time, and a whole lot of mercy and patience.
2- There is no connections. No real connections to people. They are alone and prefer to be alone. It's safer.
3 - There is no real communications. After a while communication skills shut down. You will find them without a voice and struggling to find it.
4 - They start fending for themselves, becoming self sustaining which reeks of pride. Unwilling to ask for help.5 - They become critical. The focus quickly switches to what is wrong instead of what is right.
6 - They become demanding, demanding obedience, demanding submission, demanding perfection.
7 - Their oppression will be felt by everyone. People around them will feel oppressed. A good way to describe oppression is nothing getting in and nothing getting out.
Q4U: Have any suggestions on how to deal with a leader with a closed heart? Leave a comment.
Q4U: Have any suggestions on how to deal with a leader with a closed heart? Leave a comment.
This is so true!! So many people have shut themselves off from others because of past hurts, and leaders tend to be the worst because they've been hurt so many times.
ReplyDeleteI believe the greatest thing you can do for a leader that has a closed heart, is pray for them! Pray that God will heal their pain and help them work through the forgiveness process.
The second greatest thing you can do is to be loyal to them at all costs! No gossiping or backbiting, just faithfully serve and respect them. Once they see your loyalty, that leader may begin to come around, soften their heart and begin to believe that they can trust again.
Wendy, yes I agree leaders get their heart trampled on all the time. Praying for our leaders is a win - win. Not only does it does it help them but also our hearts as well. It's hard to get a bad attitude toward someone that your praying for. It's hard to be disloyal to a person you are petitioning for in God's presence. Great point! thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to comment from a different angle, from the heart of the one who IS the leader. I do believe in the day and hour in which we live, where transparency is almost demanded in our culture (people seek out transparent or open leaders, align themselves with them) leaders are faced with a decision to open up or lose. In general, people won't stay with us at least for a length of time if we remain closed. I am not speaking to the right or wrongness of this, simply the reality.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have shared here is a very important word, Sandy. People in our world today seek out others who are wide open. Honestly, there have been times in the past when as a leader I shut down - was not at a healthy place. It cost me. I deeply regret it! That was years ago. My actions caused me to lose people from my team and more importantly from my life! Also the same walls that kept out the hurt kept out the love. What a lonely time that was.
Times have further changed since then and I realize if I were to do the same thing now, with the way our culture has changed, the cost to me would be even greater. I'm glad I learned this lesson already, coming from the viewpoint of the one leading, it doesn't pay to shut down.